the scariest thing about being an adult is looking at a 20 dollar bill and realizing that holy shit i could just buy an entire cake for myself and eat it and nO ONE COULD STOP ME?? IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE MY BIRTHDAY JESUS CHRIST
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
brandnoose: brandnoose: every time you swallow a guy’s load, you’re swallowing millions of unborn babies how fuckin metal is that
1. I say, ‘I am fat.’ He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’ I wonder why I cannot...– Rachel Wiley (via hotbroccoli)
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
ispeakineloquently: fudgeflies: i wonder what’s happening right now over at hogwarts probably education since harry doesn’t go there anymore
Respeto a la mujer que no se la tira de santa pero...
silencio-entre-los-dos: that-s-your-answer: por-domesticar: Respeto a una mujer que vive la vida a su gusto, y que le vale un pico si alguien piensa que es puta o no, si es puta o no, si es una santa o no. Eso merece respeto. :) Respeto a la mujer.